Buddhists believe emotions are like clouds

And so do I....

If you've been reading this blog for more than a year or so, you may have followed the process as I put together my first artists book, Like Weather (above). It is a flag book, and explored the idea of "change" by tracking my emotions for a 24 hour period and suggesting that emotions are as changeable as the weather. (If you weren't around the first time through, you can find the first post in the archives for March 2007 and they run through to October 2007. If you'd just like to see some pics. follow this.)

Of course, we can't help what we feel, only what we choose to do with those feelings. In the past week I've seen my emotions fly high, and plummet to great depths in a very short space of time, and it's certainly confirmed for me the fragility of any situation. Our unrealistic desire for things to remain the same is constantly overturned, but it takes a long time for most of us to come to a genuine acceptance of this.

In my case, in the past week I've received the devastating news that my mother is gravely ill. Shortly after hearing this, I heard from the talented Joanna Kambourian who was "on location" at the opening of the SCU Acquisitive Artists Books Award. She had amazing news for me - the judge has selected Like Weather as one of this year's acquisitions! This is the first work I've had acquired by an institution, and as this is a career goal for me, the news is particularly significant and exciting. Later in the evening, a similar email from Sara Bowen gave me confidence that there was no mistake!

At the time, the situation felt quite unreal. I found I was able to "flip" from a sense of incredible joy and satisfaction to deep desolation, almost at will. It even seemed possible to hold these two wavering extremes within my chest at the same time. Looking back, it reminds me of the hope we feel when the clouds part briefly during cyclonic weather and we glimpse the blue sky. It reminds us that after the winds and rain subside, finer days will be waiting for us. This is exactly what I hoped Like Weather might say.

Resistance: porcelain flag book (still in progress....)

I thought you might like to see what stage of development the porcelain flag book made it to by assessment time. It looks quite good from a distance but I'm just not happy with the detail. There are two aspects that need work:

• the decals: these are quite large as decals go and tricky to apply without air bubbles; having them fill the flags to the edges means any flaws are highly visible. I actually did a second firing of flags to replace the imperfect ones, but the colour was quite different due to variance in the firing schedule. (I had to fire quite fast because time was tight.)

• the way the pages and the concertina spine join: clay shrinks at various stages during the making process - when it first dries and during each firing. For adjacent pieces to fit "nicely" it's best for them to dry and fire in position. This is common practice with something like a teapot and its lid. Working with flat slabs, I thought I would be able to get away without doing this, but I was wrong! The problem is especially obvious in the view below.

Flag book defeat

I'm blogging from Melbourne as I wait for tomorrow to install my work at RMIT in readiness for the final assessment on Tuesday. It has been a mad rush these past few days...I came down a little early to be available to see my supervisor before the week-end, but that wasn't possible. It just ended up making things more difficult because the tasks I still had to finish off had to be done here in the hotel room, and of course in my fuzzy anxiety-headedness, I forgot a few things and haven't had access to my own equipment.

The final piece I"ve been trying to complete is of course the porcelain flag book. It is finished, in a way, but it isn't what I would call "an elegent solution". The covers do not sit nicely, and although the whole thing looks good from the front, the back view is clumsy and at a bit of a tilt! This type of construction is always a challenge in ceramics, because clay changes so much, both in drying and in firing, and parts that don't dry together never seem to fit together well.

The whole work would have been a lot easier in porcelain paper clay, but this just doesn't have the same translucency or finish as porcelain. Another option would be a product called Keraflex, which comes in sheet form and is new to the market. It's also pretty expensive, but when I think about the expense of a double set of decals, it may have been a cheaper option after all.

I am determined to continue with the idea until I find a solution I am happy with, but I'm not sure about presenting this work for assessment on Tuesday. Tomorrow I'll discuss it with my supervisor. On the phone he pointed out that we often judge our own work more harshly than others do, but I am of the opinion that the work is fine to discuss in my written proposal, but shouldn't be one of the actual works I display.

I have some visuals to share with you - photographs of the flag book and a two-and-a-half minute video documenting Wraith, the installation I showed at the beginning of the year. I took the footage in the gallery, but have only just edited it together. Unfortunately, there's very limited uploading on the connection I'm using, so you'll have to wait till I get home for those. Well, I'm off to do some meditation and try to shake this headache...

Forming the concertina spine

This week I finally managed to get back to work on the flag book. You may remember this post where I showed you how I made the mould for the concertina spine.

To form the clay spine, I roll out a slab of clay. When it's nearly as thin as I want I lie some plastic sandwich wrap over the top and press it onto the clay surface. I can then use the plastic to lift the slab and flip it over, so I can apply plastic to the other side. Having the plastic as a support allows me to handle to clay slab a lot more easily, roughly even, and I can roll the slab much more thinly without it cracking.

When the slab is the desired thickness, I lie it onto the mould and begin to stretch the clay into the angles of the mould.

Below you can see I leave the plastic on the clay at this stage
because it lets me shape it quite firmly without cracking.

Next I cut the clay down to the desired size and then continue shaping the angles and smoothing the clay surface. When I'm happy with the result, I cover the slab loosley with plastic to slow down the drying process and leave the clay to dry and firm up. When it reaches "leatherhard", it will hold its shape and can be removed from the mould. The clay is still quite wet at this stage and can be carved and smoothed gently. It is important to remove the concertina from the mould at this stage because as the clay dries it shrinks, and if left on the mould it will eventually crack.

Below you can see the finished concertina spine sitting on a foam
cushion. Now I leave it to dry thoroughly before the bisque firing.

Can you believe...

...I'm still working on this book? (Like Weather)


(inside front cover)


It is so close to finished. In fact, it is finished, apart from the actual printing and construction. The custom colour profiling has worked well, although I have changed my choice of paper. The feedback I received from people was that they really liked the texture of the mock-up, seen here (if you enlarge). The Hahnemuhle photo rag I had chosen is a beautiful paper, but it has a soft, smooth finish. The mock-up was made with Canson 100, a double sided water-colour paper. Coating this with Inkaid, an inkjet pre-coat I mentioned in earlier posts, allows me to achieve richer colours, while keeping the texture.

The difficulty I am having now is getting the pre-coat on evenly. This is only really a problem when you print large expanses of a single colour, and is especially evident on the pages with text which are backed with navy. I really hope I can perfect my technique or I'm going to have to change papers....

As you can tell by the lack of blog posts, progress with my masters work is very slow. I just have not been well enough to really get a flow going, and according to my calculations I am about 2 weeks behind. I have not managed to get any more of my proposal written, although the self portrait in wax (seen here) is back from framing, and looks really good.


This week I "plan" (you know what my plans are like...) to get into my ceramics studio (aka the garage) and set up this installation. It should be fun to finally put all the components together as I have them visualised and see what else needs to be done. Stay tuned....

(inside back cover)

"Like Weather" - a mock-up

Above: the book fully extended, showing (l to r) back cover, spine and front cover.

Below: the first opening, showing inside cover and the start of the flags.

Above: Showing the imagery inside.

Finally I have some photos to show you of the mock-up of my flag book, Like Weather. I am still not sure that I am happy with the way the main image (the one above) is working. I don't think there is really enough variation across the flags, but perhaps I am wrong. The top flag does seem to work quite well, but the lower two not so well. I have printed an alternative image and am planning to assemble it in the next few days to compare. Perhaps you could let me know what you think when you see the two options.

I had huge hassles getting the colours to print the way I wanted, and that was just with my old printer, not the new Epson 2100. By the time the Epson arrived, I had invested so much time getting the colours right on the Canon, I could not bear to start all over again, even though the final version of the book will be printed on the Epson.

I think that some of my colour problems are to do with the fact that I work on a laptop. (When I had to upgrade my computer last year, I splurged on a laptop, which I absolutely love because I can take it anywhere, and it is so compact and doesn't take up valuable space in the studio). Unfortunately, I have now discovered that the screens in laptops are not regarded highly for their colour accuracy. Maybe I will even have to buy another screen, I don't know. Fortunately I do have the money at the moment, but of course there are a hundred other things I need. Oh well! we will see.

This post is a little slower than I had hoped because the last week was a busy one, with three "health-related" appointments. Sometimes it feels like a full-time job being sick! The coming week looks a bit quieter appointment-wise, but I will have to do a lot of writing rather than making. This is however, good news, because I have been offered my first-ever paid writing job.

It seems that people who know about ceramics and are comfortable writing are quite rare, and consequently over the years, I have been called on to write a few articles about the work of artists in my area for the Australian Journal of Ceramics. This is always unpaid work, but I have been happy to do it because I always learn a lot from the process and enjoy the writing. (And it's also a good thing to put on your CV.)

This time though, I have been asked by a nearby regional gallery (Redlands Art Gallery) to write the catalogue essay for an exhibition of ceramics by Julie Shepherd, a local ceramic virtuoso. Julie makes the most exquisite egg-shell thin pierced porcelain works and yesterday I visited her and saw some of the literally hundreds of pieces she is making for this major solo showcase of her work. Just catching up with Julie who is a friend I studied with, and seeing her amazing work up close was a treat, but getting some $$$s too - well, I do feel lucky!

"Like Weather" - more images and text

This is the back cover of "Like Weather", my flag book. It is the image I was originally thinking of using for the flags, but I have chosen one which I think works better. Throughout the book there are photos of clouds together with digital alterations. I hope this implies something of a tension between the real and the virtual, the reality of a situation and our emotional response to it.

I have also used completely different text from the first version I posted here. I decided to take a more conceptual approach, with which I feel more comfortable. I am not at all experienced at writing narrative and I know it is not something you can just "whip up".

Below is the new text:

Between 11pm May 14th and 11pm May 15th, 2007, for every hour that I was awake, I recorded my predominant emotion.

11pm optimistic

12am peaceful

9am confused

10am anxious

11am tense but sleepy

12pm rushed

1pm tired

2pm relaxed

3pm down

4pm peaceful

5pm excited

6pm doubtful

7pm rushed

8pm thoughtful

9pm emotional

10pm thoughtful

11pm satisfied

Clouds for my flag book

I have been working on more cloud images to use on the outside of the flag book that I mentioned earlier. I want to use one image that will extend across both the front and back covers and the concertina spine. The first image probably works best with the rest of the book colour-wise, although I love the softness of the second alternative. If you look really closely on the left, just below the lower bank of clouds you can see a tiny plane, which appeals to me.

In the bottom photo I do like the metaphor inherent in the layers of clouds of increasing darkness and the sliver of blue sky peeking through. inherent in the layers of clouds of increasing darkness and the sliver of blue sky peeking through.

There is so much to think about in making an artists book. So much to tie together conceptually, plus I am still searching for papers and printers and trying to decide whether to make it entirely myself or have it printed professionally. I would prefer to have the control of doing it all myself but I am only able to print up to A4, so it does limit my size. It is certainly a challenge, but enormous fun too!

Flag Book - maquette

This is a rough maquette of a flag book I plan to make as part of my masters. The white concertina spine will be blue sky in the finished book, and there will be imagery on the front and back outside covers as well. The next stage is to write the text, which will be on the back of the flags.

The concept for this book is based on the idea from Buddhist meditation that thoughts, feelings, sensations are constantly changing, drifting across the mind like clouds in a sky. To cling on to our states of mind is as futile as expecting the weather to be constant.

From what I have read, it is typical to make a mock-up or maquette of an artists book to help ensure that things like size and materials are consistent with the artists meaning. After constructing the middle section I realized that it would add to the meaning if the flags were attached to "sky". I also discovered my flags are too far apart for my liking.

I would really love to make this book in a large size (A3 or A2) to fit with the idea of an expanse of sky. That would mean having it professionally printed and to achieve the quality I want, I might have to apply for a grant to fund printing. I spoke to a printer yesterday about offset printing and they said they did not know anyone who would do such a small run - so that means I would have to send it interstate. Hhmm!