A Painting A-Day: The Last Week

I am running a bit late with this update on my Painting-A-Day (downgraded to the much less catchy A Painting Every Second Day here) so in fairness given the time extension I have created more work - eight pieces in all. The lateness was caused by some health issues (migraines provoked by the sudden onset of summer heat here in Brisbane) and the fact that I spent the week working mostly with wax (good choice for hot weather, I hear you say!).

One thing I love about wax is that if you don't like what you've created, you can melt it down or scrape it back and hey presto! start again! The trouble is, this is a little like computers, they don't save you any time, but you can end up with a better end result - it just depends how much patience you have....I am also pretty new to using wax so there is a lot to learn - but after this I feel somewhat more confident...dipping and collage are going okay but painting, well I'm not a painter, so I've got a lot to learn.

The collage shows the works in the order they were finished, and includes two entries for Artwords and one for Illustration Friday. You can see the red paper-cut for IF in my other blog, Amanda-IF and I will do a separate post for the Artwords entry for this week - Memories.

The first piece is a page for my second artists book. You can see my first one here. It is still coming together, but is about the transience of the body. This is a Sheer Heaven transfer of the heart, encased in wax. The working title for the book is "Preserve". There is a LOT more work to be done on this, as this is the first page I've completed. I was pleased to test out my techniques though and find it came together quite well.

Next is a digital entry for last weeks Artwords, which I wasn't really satisfied with and did not end up posting. The prompt was "wind" and it's a digitally altered photo of the wind rustling the trees in our driveway in Melbourne. Looking back a week later, I actually think it captures the theme reasonably well.

Third is an attempt at a collage I've been thinking about which explores the cyclical nature of existence through the lunar cycle. I wasn't at all happy with the woman in this and re-did it, as you can see in the second last piece. This one feels more true to my aesthetic, but still needs work.

Next is my second wax box. You can see more detailed images of this on Flickr. This one is constructed entirely of Japanese lace paper. I plan to make a series of these boxes as part of my masters work so you'll be seeing more of them in future posts.

Next is a red wax collage using Sheer Heaven transfers and inlaid wax drawing. It started as an experimental page for Preserve but I doubt it will be used now. The final piece is an encaustic painting incorporating a little collage and it's my Artwords entry so you'll have to wait for the Artwords post to read about it.

The great thing about this month has been that I have created a lot, explored themes and techniques I've had in mind for literally months, and most pleasingly, been really well and energetic through it all. Now if I could just manage to sustain this level of output, I think I might have a chance of finishing my MFA....

So the plan for the next month is to get working on masters pieces. I have scheduled a visit to Melbourne for late March and I want to have plenty of samples to take down with me. Tomorrow will be a big planning day. Over all, a great start to the year.

A-Painting-A-Day: Taking Stock So Far

I'd love to be able to say that it was my intention all along to do a big end of month summary of this Painting-A-Day exercise - but the truth is I've been so caught up making art that I just haven't had a chance to update this blog.

The positive of this is that it means the month is going really well. There have been a few changes to the Painting-A-Day "rules" - when you're making it up as you're going along, this is not surprising! First of all, it doesn't have to be a painting. In fact it doesn't absolutely have to be 2-D, although I have tried to stick to this in the main. However, I think that all but 2 works do include paint! Secondly, the daily was never really realistic, unless I wanted to make all the works very spontaneous and quick. Instead I have gone for at least 4 per week and made it to 5 once. By taking it a little more slowly, I think I can get some good "starters" going, things I can return to and look at developing in the future. It also gives me a chance to try out a few different techniques I've thought of or read about in the past 12 months. So the collage above shows pictures of all the works created so far.

Week 1

The first week I made four works, two collages and two mixed media drawings. None of these really work but I did try out some new techniques, including sgraffito using wax pastels and Jonathon Talbot transfer technique which I've mentioned in earlier posts. I've been focussing on developing imagery that I may use in my masters work and there are lots of "bits" that I think I can work with here.

The big disappointment for me was the sgraffito. It's a technique I'm familiar with in ceramics, and while it worked, I just didn't really like the effect - but that may be due to the multicoloured surface I created - you can see it here. It just looks lazy and messy to me.

Week 2

This week was my most productive so far. I was still in an exploratory mood despite my dissatisfaction with the sgraffito, so I tried my hand at a variety of media and techniques. The theme for Illustration Friday was buzz and anyone who knows my work knows I have included a reference to whipper snippers in a past installation - I HATE THEM! So I quickly got the idea to do a Noel MeKenna-esque painting of a whipper snipper in suburbia. I have to say that this was the most fun I've had all month. I had planned to work in acrylics, but was scared off by my total lack of experience with this type of project, so I opted for aquarelles. From a distance I am actually reasonably happy with the result, despite my obvious compositional goof - just don't examine the surface too closely, please!

I also experimented with two ideas I've had for a while. One is using tissue paper to sculpt close-ups of the body, inspired somewhat by Brent Harris - this is harder than it looks, and this one is not really working, but I will experiment further. The second idea shows lots of potential and I am really excited about it. I used Japanese paper dipped in wax to construct a box. I'm really happy with the translucency and am thinking this may be a way for me to work in 3-D other than with clay.

I also managed to complete my "start" for the Library project on Flickr and finished off with a photoshopped work for Artwords, seen in the previous post "graffitti". Okay I know that photoshop is not paint, but it is 2-D and for this one I did experiment with something I've not done before, as you'll see if you check out the post.

Week 3

All right, now we are in the home straight! Week 3.

This week I became almost totally wrapped up in the Library project. I started work on the start that Alex Itin from Brooklyn had sent me. I have to admit that it's been sitting here for 2 weeks and I've been looking at it, coming up with ideas, but terrified of actually making a mark. After all, this is another artist's work I'm about to work on. Eventually I bit the bullet and was able to find some images that I thought suited perfectly, including this map of the world from 1581 in the shape of a flower! (Alex's start included a butterfly with the words "Korea, China, Vietnam, Japan" on its wings.) You can see the completed collaboration on Alex's blog. I also polished off a book page Alex had included, a la the Humument.

By this stage I was really rolling on the collages and dieing to incorporate some of my anatomy imagery. I started a new book cover with the intention of posting it to the Library for collaboration, but was having so much fun that I ended up just continuing on with it myself!

I finished last week with a failed experiment. I had this idea to try a Jonathon Talbot transfer onto Japanese lace paper. Technically, it did work, but the effect is not what I had hoped. Not sure now what I hoped! Well, yes I am. I'm looking to express impermanence, but not in an old moth-eaten document kind-of-way, like this. I'm interested in change, transition. Hence the butterflies, life-cycles and so on. I think the faded effect of the transfer says more about this.

Well that brings us up to date. I am hoping the remaining 7 days will be just as productive. I think I should try to use this last week to experiment some more - then next month I can start to develop some of these ideas. I have booked my first trip to Melbourne to see my supervisor, Kevin White, in March. By then I need to have some solid progress to share.

Topic #34 - Begin

Begin=End=Begin

When I checked this week's challenge at Artwords I couldn't believe how well it fits with the art I am currently making. I have started off my month of daily paintings/collage/2D work quite well - it's the fourth of January and I am working on my third work. I have slightly altered the goal to allow for "mishaps" and am aiming for 5 works per week - I think this should be achievable and create enough focus without stressing me out.

The works have been focusing on the theme of transcience and impermanence which is the topic of my MFA. I've been collecting imagery for months now and am working with the cyclical nature of life. I have chosen two ways of depicting this: using butterflies and life-cycles and the lunar cycle.

This work incorporates a modification of Jonathon Talbot's transfer method using gloss gel medium, acrylic, wax pastel, Pitt's artists pens, sgraffito and collage. I must confess to a little digital jiggery-pokery...I wasn't happy with the composition of the original so I scanned it into Photoshop and "reorganised" the layout.

I learnt two valuable things from this work. First Talbot's method is really excellent for my purposes and secondly, I need to look at the sizing of my components. I am tending to make them medium sized - when they either need to be bigger, and fill the canvas more, or smaller. The re-working in PS basically consisted of adjusting the sizes of the different images.

I have titled my entry for Artwords "Begin=End=Begin" in recognition of the fact that beginnings are always associated with endings. To wipe the slate clean and start afresh, you have to let some things go if you going to have room for anything new. Sometimes these endings may be small and easy, and sometimes they can be massive and trigger a grief reaction. But to invert the proposition, any ending is also a beginning. We may grieve for the end of something we treasured, but at the same time we are being offered a new beginning. And a beginning should always be seen as an opportunity - so seize the day! Carpe Diem!

Inspiration Part 2 - End of Year Review

Well here are the artworks that formed the collage in the previous post. The artists are: 1. Timothy McDowell; 2&3 Marisse Maas; 4. Darlene O'Connor; 5. Nancy Selvin; 6. Martin Puryear; 7. Steve Briscoe; 8. James Casebere; 9. David Prifti; 10. Aparna Agrawal; 11&12. Sally Smart (BTW, I have no idea why this collage has January 2003 on it - Picasa just did it automatically!)


It's interesting to view them all in one place like this and see what stands out to me. As I mentioned in the last post, I've set myself a challenge for the month of January. Other than photos and digitally alterred images, I really haven't done that much work on paper. I've spent the past year learning some techniques - some home printmaking, some transfers, collage, a little mixed media and a little encaustic, but I don't really feel that I have a "style" or direction. I am hoping that by working intensively (well, for me) for a month something will begin to emerge that I can continue to develop. It always amazes me when I look at the work of other artists and their style is so recognisable. I feel I am still in an experimental stage, trying this and that, and really don't have much of an established aesthetic or way of working on paper.

I selected the works above because they all really speak to me aesthetically and I want to try to identify colours, marks, etc to work with over the next month. So I'm going to try to identify what it is about each artists work that I respond to....

When I came across Timothy McDowell's work on the net I had an incredible reaction to it. I just find it soooo beautiful. I love the antique paper he works on, the fine pencil and watercolour work and the vintage nature-based imagery he uses. I also love that style of composition - sort of a cross between a collage and a mosaic in an integrated piece.

Marisse Maas is one of my favourite Australian painters. I love her use of line - not quite outlining the object and sgraffito. As a potter, this is a technique I know well. Her compositional style is similar to McDowell's.

Darlene O'Connor and Nancy Selvin are American ceramists and they don't have a huge web-presence, but I stumbled on their work while researching print and ceramics. Although I am looking at doing mixed media work now, I can envisage transfering some of the ideas into clay when my energy improves. The fine printed line work on O'Connor's work appeals strongly to me and I love the rough slip finish on Selvin's terracotta bottles.

Martin Puryear does wonderful etchings that demonstrate the beauty of line, texture and pure forms - a good lesson for both ceramics and 2-D work. I've only found this one series of Steve Briscoe's work, focussing on text and bunnies! I love text and I'm a sucker for cute animals! Will I be including any cute animals in my future artworks? Who knows, but never say never!

James Casebere is a photographer who has a series on water-filled interiors. This is not something I think I'll be pursuing soon, but it does relate to a recurring dream from my childhood, so I included this image as a reminder for the future. David Prifti uses light-sensitive emulsion to "transfer" his photographic images onto all sorts of objects. This relates closely to some work I've been doing for my Masters, so Prifti was included here as another "note to self".

Aparna Agrawal is another artist whose work really excites me. As a ceramic artist, I find it much easier to think in 3-D than in 2-D. Agrawal has made sculptural works using paper with wax and thread, and I am hoping these media might work for me too.

Sally Smart is another terrific Australian artist. I love her style of working with cut-outs on the wall. This is something I have been thinking about for over 2 years. I envisage a giant collage - where the wall operates as the support surface. I also like the strong black silhouette style of Smart's imagery. It relates to shadows which I have often included as part of my own work with objects. If I do create 2-D work, I'll like to integrate it into this type of larger work.

Finally, the colour scheme seems pretty obvious - I've worked a lot with greys, blacks and whites in the past, and I also love sepia and brown. I see there's a touch of red in there too - sounds perfect!

I hope you have enjoyed this little trip around these favourite artists of mine. It's certainly been useful for me as a precursor to spending a month exploring a new direction. Stay tuned to see what comes of it all - if anything....


and I want to take this opportunity to wish everybody who has visited my blog a safe and happy time in 2007. I am especially grateful to those who have visited more than once and those who have left comments for me. Blogging has become a genuine source of friendship and a wonderful way of reaching out from our little boxes in the suburbs. You have all touched my life in a way far beyond my expectations. Thank-you!

How to grieve....

Does anyone else think there is something wrong with a society that hides away from one of the most basic truths of life.... that we will all die.


Seventeen months ago I experienced something completely natural - my father became ill and three months later he died. I had a wonderful, loving father. Oh, he wasn't perfect - no one is, but I loved him with all my heart and I knew he loved me. He fought against his natural instincts which made him long to protect me all my life, and did his best to set me free to be the person I am. Sometimes this was extremely challenging for him I know, but because he loved me, he worked at this, and usually succeeded.

Even though my father was 82 and I had realized many years before that he was nearing the end of his life, I was still totally unprepared for his death. I'm not sure what you can do to prepare for a loss like this but I can't help feeling there must be something.

In particular one thing that disturbed me was that I had no idea my father had enterred his final 24 hours when this happened. I visited him in palliative care and helped him to drink and to go to the bathroom. He communicated with me through notes because he had lost control of his speaking muscles but not his thought processes. And because I had no idea how close he was to death, AND NOBODY TOOK ME ASIDE AND TOLD ME, I went home. I planned to come back the next day. But because I have cfs and I had no idea how long this might go on, it seemed important to ration my energy so that I could keep visiting each day for as long as it took - I envisioned about two weeks.

Instead I was wakened at 6am by a phone call to tell me that he had died. Now I don't know how easy or how difficult it is to tell how close a person is to death. I only know that I couldn't tell. And when I think about it, it seems ridiculous that we are so unfamiliar with one of the most basic occurrences of life that we don't know. And the reason we don't know is because we have medicalised the process and hidden our elderly and dieing people away to avoid the pain and the grief. Imagine if we didn't know how to tell when a baby was about to be born. It's laughable, isn't it? And yet not all babies are born at the same rate - some come quickly, others take days, but at least we know that it is happening. And alright, I know the birth of a baby is a happy occasion, but it's no more or less a part of life than dieing.

For the past month or so my energy levels have been so low that I've spent most days lieing on my bed. Last week I went to see my doctor and we realized the connection - I started to deteriorate on the anniversary of my father's death. I hadn't even realized that I wasn't dealing with the grief. Earlier in the year I tried to help myself through the process by having some sessions of art therapy. The artwork I have included with this post is one of those I made at that time. I plan to return to making artworks about my father and my feelings of loss around his death and I will post some of those here. I have found in the past that making art about deeply emotional issues has allowed me to work my way through them, and this has released a lot of energy that seems to get caught up containing the feelings.

Have you ever noticed.....

how things always get really bad, just before they start to get better?

Just over a week ago, I was asking myself what is the point? The point of what?

Well, the point of lots of things really
- of an existence where you don't contribute to society in a positive way?
- of studying for something when you can hardly spend any time doing it because of poor health?
And why have I got this life? Not why me, specifically, but more why would anyone be given this life? WHAT'S THE POINT???

I was spending a lot of time mulling over these thoughts and had come to a place where it was feeling quite unbearable. Don't worry, I wasn't considering suicide, I'm not that self-centred. I couldn't do it to the people I love - I know it would distress them too much...

And then I realized, just my existence IS ENOUGH for the people who love me and who I love. I don't have to do anything, just the fact that I exist gives joy.

It might sound silly, but that realization has been incredibly freeing to me. It doesn't mean I don't still want to do things, to set goals and have achievements, and that on any particular day I might be frustrated about having low energy, but since I realized that just existing or "being" is enough, I can be so much more relaxed about it all. This is a big step for a perfectionist.

This has lasted for just over a week now and doesn't seem to be disappearing. It seems I have finally learnt for myself that to just be, is enough.

This ties in with something my husband taught me about 10 years ago. He made me aware of the Oscar Wilde version of an old adage. Wilde maintained:

If something's worth doing, it's worth doing badly.

Title: The Artwork Nobody Got

I puzzled over this for a few years, wondering why, in my perfectionist's mind, you wouldn't do it well. Then one day when I was trying out a new art technique, it dawned on me. I hadn't created anything too brilliant, but I was having SO MUCH FUN! This was something it was definitely worth doing, even though I did not do it at all well. And I realized, there really are some things in life that are so wonderful, so nourishing to the soul, that it doesn't matter how you do them, just as long as you do them.

So go out and do something badly that you love today..... it's important!

Priorities, priorities...

When Death Comes Calling, 2006*

In loving memory

Russell Watson-Will

21.06.23-07.10.05

In my last post I said I was going to be thinking about my priorities in an effort to improve my quality of life and hope that I may find ways of living better with cfs. Since then my priorities have sort of been set for me.

I am currently on leave of absence from RMIT University in Melbourne where I have been studying for my MFA. I returned to Brisbane nearly 15 months ago to take a rest for the sake of my health, planning to re-enrol by distance for semester 2 (July) 2006 and finish off the Masters. A couple of weeks after we returned my father was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease and 2 months later he died. It was all so fast and such a surprise. Those few months were a roller-coaster ride and after my father's funeral, I physically fell in a heap. I have made very little progress since then and this is why I find myself re-examining the way I manage my life in a day-to-day way.

Then last week I received my enrolment forms from RMIT. I have to re-enrol next year (I had taken an extra semester off because I knew I could not manage the workload yet) or lose my place. This does not mean that I couldn't re-apply in the future, but that I would have to compete with new applicants for a place. I really do want to complete the Masters for a variety of reasons, but I'm really not sure how my health will hold up. And the thought of making myself sicker is a scary one.

In some ways, the letter from RMIT has been a blessing. It has given me a goal that is external to myself, a goal in the real world, with genuine deadlines and expectations. The trouble is it si so difficult for me to meet these, and the fear of becoming even more ill is a powerful stressor.

Herein lies my dilemma . I tend to be a "broad picture" style of person. By that, I mean that I find it quite hard to focus on something quite circumscribed. I really need diversity in my life or I feel incredibly trapped and yet with my current energy levels, this really isn't possible. It is an extremely challenging balancing act, but for now at least, it seems my priorities are set.

* This is one of a number of collages I did as art therapy to help me through the grief process. You can see another here in my blog and some more in my Flickr photos here and here.

Agoraphobia

This is the first week I've taken part in Illustration Friday. It's a massively popular online gallery with weekly challenges. Apparently 200+ people participate - so I figgered I better be in it...

This week the topic is phobia. Agoraphobia has had a significant effect on my whole family. Although only one member has agoraphobia, everyone is impacted. It has taken us a long time to accept how genuine it is but if you have any doubts, you just have to look at how it destroys a person's life. If you could just "get a grip" and overcome it, you would - nobody would live like that if they had a choice.

While you're here take a look at how other people have interpreted phobia on IF, there are some fantastic artists involved. I'm on the look out for lots of spiders...

Topic #20 - Confession

This is my entry for Confession at Artwords. It is only a sketch really but I didn't want to miss the deadline again this week. I plan to keep working on it, just to enhance some of the background. If I end up changing it significantly, I'll post the improvements!

Sometimes I think confessing can be quite selfish. It can operate to make the confessor feel better, to cleanse the soul, but only leaves the confessee feeling totally betrayed. Some sins are better left unknown, unsaid. And if that means you have to learn to live with your guilt, then that is just how it is. In a sense, by confessing, you may just end up wronging the person twice. It's not always better to know the truth.