Monday, July 15, 2013

A Blog Sabbatical or Going Into Hibernation

With the lack of activity on this blog, you may have already thought that I had taken a sabbatical from my writing "duties". In a way it's true, but I want to make it "official" so that you don't feel that I have just run off, abandoning the inter-web and never giving this blog or you another thought!

This year seems to be a challenging one for a lot of people, and that has included me. You might remember that in January I blogged about one room in our home being inundated. It might amaze you to hear that the room remains unusable and the repairs have not even been started as yet. Or maybe it wouldn't. That is if you have ever had to deal with insurance companies, bodies corporate and builders.

I don't won't to bore you (or myself) with all the details, but the crux of the problem is that people with ME/CFS just don't have a great reserve to deal with things when life throws a little extra at you. It happens to us all from time to time, and I don't expect to be excluded from those times and events, but I do need to be realistic with how much I can manage.

You may think that after six months we must be nearing some sort of solution to all this, and I am hopeful that some work might start in about four weeks. Or maybe six. Or...who knows?

Ultimately I have had to look even more carefully at my priorities and and I can see I must improve my self-pacing. For some months I haven't really been coping with it all: living under cramped and damp, moldy conditions, trying to move things along with the repairs and running the home. It's been pretty much impossible to find a bit of time to be creative and to see friends, the things that keep me sane! And even more worrying, I haven't really wanted to do those things.
About a month ago I found the Treating CFS and FM website, which has loads of very useful information, particularly in relation to pacing. This is something on which I've never had any professional guidance. I've always had to try to make intuitive judgements about how much energy I had in relation to how much I would need, and I have to admit to being pretty unsuccessful more often than not. 

These past months my energy has been whittled away, and with it my "joie de vivre". It hasn't been a lot of fun, and I really need to find some better ways to manage things. I feel the need to withdraw from "the public eye" for a while, so I can spend my time with as little need for external time-keeping, and see whether I can work out some strategies that work for me.

I did consider sharing that journey here on this blog, but I don't think that is what interests most people who visit me here. Also, I don't really know where I'm heading with this or how I'll be getting there. It could be incredibly tedious filling in of charts and mapping of symptoms. On the other hand, I may decide I could really do with some morale-boosting along the way, and if that is the case, don't worry, I'll raise my arm and you'll know I'm not just waving.