Monday, July 15, 2013

A Blog Sabbatical or Going Into Hibernation


With the lack of activity on this blog, you may have already thought that I had taken a sabbatical from my writing "duties". In a way it's true, but I want to make it "official" so that you don't feel that I have just run off, abandoning the inter-web and never giving this blog or you another thought!

This year seems to be a challenging one for a lot of people, and that has included me. You might remember that in January I blogged about one room in our home being inundated. It might amaze you to hear that the room remains unusable and the repairs have not even been started as yet. Or maybe it wouldn't. That is if you have ever had to deal with insurance companies, bodies corporate and builders.

I don't won't to bore you (or myself) with all the details, but the crux of the problem is that people with ME/CFS just don't have a great reserve to deal with things when life throws a little extra at you. It happens to us all from time to time, and I don't expect to be excluded from those times and events, but I do need to be realistic with how much I can manage.

You may think that after six months we must be nearing some sort of solution to all this, and I am hopeful that some work might start in about four weeks. Or maybe six. Or...who knows?

Ultimately I have had to look even more carefully at my priorities and and I can see I must improve my self-pacing. For some months I haven't really been coping with it all: living under cramped and damp, moldy conditions, trying to move things along with the repairs and running the home. It's been pretty much impossible to find a bit of time to be creative and to see friends, the things that keep me sane! And even more worrying, I haven't really wanted to do those things.
About a month ago I found the Treating CFS and FM website, which has loads of very useful information, particularly in relation to pacing. This is something on which I've never had any professional guidance. I've always had to try to make intuitive judgements about how much energy I had in relation to how much I would need, and I have to admit to being pretty unsuccessful more often than not. 

These past months my energy has been whittled away, and with it my "joie de vivre". It hasn't been a lot of fun, and I really need to find some better ways to manage things. I feel the need to withdraw from "the public eye" for a while, so I can spend my time with as little need for external time-keeping, and see whether I can work out some strategies that work for me.

I did consider sharing that journey here on this blog, but I don't think that is what interests most people who visit me here. Also, I don't really know where I'm heading with this or how I'll be getting there. It could be incredibly tedious filling in of charts and mapping of symptoms. On the other hand, I may decide I could really do with some morale-boosting along the way, and if that is the case, don't worry, I'll raise my arm and you'll know I'm not just waving.







14 comments:

  1. Hope the building, when it starts, goes without problems. Recharge your batteries. I look forward to seeing you here again when its right for you

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    1. Thanks Jac for your understanding. Yes, fingers crossed that they find things are as they expect. Lots of digging new and improved drains involved. At least heretheydefinitely won't find any significant prehistoric relics to slow them down!

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  2. I hate that bit about disasters, how when they hit it's all go go go and yet the real hard slog goes on for month after frustrating month and nobody else knows or seems to care, they have moved onto the next thing... I am sorry your unit is still so sad for you and hope that things begin to move soon. I expect your time away will be good for you - to try and discover ways through and ways to manage your energy - wouldn't that be just fabulous! I wish you well, and hope to see you back when you are ready.

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    1. Thanks Fiona. I'm hoping with some guidance I might see some patterns and work-arounds that I have missed before (beyond just giving in and phoning up for take-aways!)

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  3. Dear Amanda, I very much hope you find your joie de vivre again, tout suit! But if not tout suit, then steadily and slowly as you pace yourself and re-group. It's good to know you're there and probably keeping an eye on our 'doings' along the way. I don't think I'd cope with a still-mouldy house (yuck!) - I hope that your room and the mould get sorted out reasonably quickly as it can't be good, breathing it all in... Meanwhile, love from down the coast, Sara x

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  4. Is there such a thing as a phychological CF syndrome? If so, I may well have it. I do understand how you feel and please, please stick to the modest, anxiety-free steps you can take when you feel you can. You are far more important than floods and mold and pending repairs. All those things will be easily solved when you find your centre. I hope you do soon but: one step at a time -your time.

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  5. Yes, Amanda, re-think your pacing schedule and pop back again when you feel like it.(That applies to both of you!)
    And in the meantime, keep an eye out for the postie! Oh, yes...if you feel like reading blogs but not up to commenting, I certainly understand and I think others would, too.
    Good luck.

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  6. not good amanda - from mould to ongoing health issues.... (and from my personal standpoint - not hearing from you here in blogland!) --- take care -- I hope all gets sorted and the spark returns (and you along with it) ... I'll be thinking some positive thoughts in your general (quiet) direction xxxx

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  7. Dear Amanda, It's very wise to focus on your health and well being and let other things go for a while. You know we will miss you and be thinking of you and looking forward to your return with a better way of managing your situation and being able to participate in all the things you love doing. xxx

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  8. Gosh, Amanda, I can only say - take all the time you need and everyone will be ready to cheer you on when you return. The damp and mould must be dreadful, especially in your climate. I know I think Sydney is too damp but we haven't had an inundation as you did. All good loving and healing wishes going your way. xox

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  9. Amanda

    I am also having to cope with too much pain and........ its saps your strength your 'joi de vivre' as you say. Its ever so hard going. I just wish I could wake up and my condition would be completely disappeared. I would have no pain and just walk around independently and go to the local park and wander among the lovely greenery or go to the town and wander among the thrift shops .............but its not going to happen.

    Having to put up with living in the conditions you are describing does sound bad - I am serious - is it not possible for you to stay at a friends/relatives place while the worse of it is being repaired?

    I still am working on my Impact 8 projects and with sweltering heat we have been having lately ( hate to complain as mainly in Scotland its always dull and cold) anyway its been so so hard to do any creative work.

    Enjoy as much as is possible, having a restful time. I always think of you as a special person - one of my first artist friends on the internet - remember we met first on flickr I admired your wax pieces !! So lovely

    best wishes

    Aine

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  10. Hi A, sorry to hear you are still in the grips of building doldrums. Where and how you live can make such a big impact on your physical and mental state, especially if you have little control over fixing the issues and you are physically jaded to begin with. Hope you are able to find a comfortable way to move through your current state of being. Always happy to sit in the sunshine with you somewhere away from the rising damp, if needsbe :)

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  11. It was so good to hear from you Amanda and to get your comment....then I come here and read about your current situation....I feel so bad for you. I really hope you can turn a corner soon but your priority must be ''you''....take care of yourself, rest, do whatever it takes to heal. I am sending a ton of positive thoughts your way x

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  12. still hibernating then??

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